Juanita Vanoy

About Juanita Vanoy

He shoots, he scores… in the courtroom as well? That seems to be the case with basketball superstar, Michael Jordan, who found himself in an ‘extravagant’ match with his ex-wife Juanita Vanoy. Let’s just say Dunkin’ wasn’t the only one making buckets! The divorce ended with Vanoy scoring an eye-popping-heck-I-may-start-playing-basketball figure of $168,000,000 in a total settlement. Straight from bolded-out print of the tabloids, yes, you read correctly, that was not a typo, $168. The six-time champion wasn’t the victor this round folks!

This 'game' shows us that court is a familiar place for Jordan, whether it is layered with velvety wooden floors perfect for a jumper or ruled by a stern-faced judge raising an eyebrow to attorneys’ questioning tones. And it appears Vanoy took pep talks from MJ’s competitors at some point because she came out swinging and won! We aren’t sure if it was an underhand layup or a freedom-giving dunk in the divorce arena for her, all we know is her payout could very well fund a small nation and she’s luxuriously laughing all the way to the bank.

If viewing love and life through rose-colored glasses is too dry and lackluster for your taste, get yourself a pair of gold trimmed aviators pronto, especially if your ‘sweetie, honey, darling' mantra changes to 'sweet settlements, honeyed hold, and $168,000,000 darling,' wink-wink. After all, our ever-knowing Dear Juanita has proven that sometimes, true love may be paved with diamonds, lots of them apparently, especially if that path cuddles its way through courtside. Don't ditch those dating apps just yet, everyone, unless it's to jump into a pickup basketball game!