Michael Jordan

About Michael Jordan

In the rotating gyre of love and breakups, Michael Jordan managed to perform an impressive slam dunk against his pockets — a staggering $168,000,000 to be specific. This was not courtesy of a faulty sponsorship deal or unsuccessful venture, but a fiercely played love match with a former Missy, Juanita Vanoy. Forget alley-oops folks… this was a bank-breaking "alley-oops-I-sure-hope-I-had-a-prenup."

After 17 years of playing on the same team, Juanita officially substituted herself out of the marriage in 2006. Her parting gift? A noteworthy $168 million drawn heavily from Jordan's net scoring (or you might humorously consider it his 'love points'). The 5-time MVP traded in his sneakers for, possibly, a bucketful of ice cream, while dialing a financially ‘wizard’ lawyer, perhaps asking, "How could this transaction have gone very un-Michael-like?"

On an amusing 'softer-attack' against his bank account, Michael's love got beaten 'defensively' and, sadly, the greatness could not manage a 'block' pun intended. Much like in his games though, highs often came with lows. As the ball spins, ‘Air Jordan’ rockets onto the 'most expensive celebrity divorces' court - snagging an honorable position near the basket, undoubtedly, from that grand trick shot. That's one surefire way to rip through the retirement earning defense, wouldn't you say?

To single folks and newlyweds gleefully warming the bench on this cupid's game — remember, never foul out on the chance to make meaningful union contracts! M.J. may be great on the playing field, but this love match was something he surely didn't "Win:No" at. As for us spectators on popping match veiled under the star lights, let's just find solace in this 'Shot of Humor', shall we?