Sylvester Stallone

About Sylvester Stallone

Well folks, hold onto your hats because even Rambo himself couldn't dodge the (literally) heavy punches from the world of marital woes! Sylvester Stallone, our rugged film star best known for going toe to toe with brawny boxers and ferocious foes onscreen, apparently was less successful at pointing the charms he geared up in "Rocky" towards his precious marital relationships. Amidst the maze garden of his romantic history was his brief union with voluminous Danish actress Brigitte Nielsen, which ended unsatisfactorily and involved a hefty $100,000,000 divorce settlement. Miaow!

In the divorce ring, the fierce and glamorous Nielsen seemingly wanted to knock Sly out financially, setting up a grueling championship match marked by swollen bank accounts, passionate heartache, and of course, wrangling lawyers. When the round ended, it was a 'no win' round for Sly. Stallone and Nielsen parted ways in 1987, leaving behind beautiful memories, some flamboyant headlines, and indeed a bank account exhausted like our well-commemorated "Demolition Man." The encounter certainly made Nielsen the clubber of the "million-year-old club."

What a spin from shooting guns to alimony that was stronger than gunpowder, accompanied by a sour, yet laughable memory for our stars. If romance could be handled just like how Rambo battles hard in the jungle or like Rocky bellied in the boxing scenario, Stallone would have gotten the Oscars award for "lifetime achievement looking rich even after divorces." Alas, the reality stung him like a nine burner iPhone X. Lesson learned: sometimes in love, resistance is NOT futile, but pricey. Just ask Sylvester. We truly wish you clear skies ahead, Sly when it comes to love, since bankruptcy court certainly won't recognize "I did it for love" as a viable defense.